Gwynn: Men need to confront sexual violence

Gwynn_Katherine

We have a nasty habit of victim-blaming when it comes to sexual violence in our culture. When someone is raped, or sexually harassed, we tend to throw out questions like “well, what was she wearing?” “Was she drinking?” “Did she flirt with the dude all night?”

We tell women to protect themselves from violence, to not wear their hair in ponytails, to carry pepper spray or mace, to never walk alone at night. Even in the language we use, we order the attention on the victim: violence against women, battered women — there’s even an increasing trend in newsprint to call the victim in a case of rape, not the victim, but the accuser.

We question the victim’s motives, and seek to find a flaw within the victim instead of looking at the source of the problem in the first place. The perpetrator. The harasser. The rapist. The one who enacted the violence.

And, as the statistics tell us, these enactors of sexual violence against women are overwhelmingly men.

Now, please don’t think I’m proclaiming “All men are rapists!” That would assume that men have some biological predisposition to be unthinking, violent, aggressive creatures, which is obviously messed up. That’s kind of the point of my article today. Men are in no way inherently rape-machines, and this type of thinking, that rape and sexual violence is an unquestionable reality in our society that will never go away is an insult to men.

Men can totally not rape. Tons of men never rape. I know quite of few of them, and I can testify that it is completely possible for a bro to go through the entirety of his life without ever committing sexual violence against another person. But we do have to acknowledge that we live in a culture that encourages violence toward women, and that it is nurture, not nature, that makes a rapist. Which is why — bros, you got to call out your bros before they commit sexual violence against another person.

Personally, I think everybody needs to call out individuals who do or say sexist things (or racist things, or homophobic things, or transphobic things — really, all the ignorant things). But especially when it comes to sexual violence against women, the importance of men talking to other men about being a decent human being is super vital. Men possess privilege in comparison to women in our society, and men who have been raised in a culture that values men’s voices over women’s respond better to a bro saying “Dude, knock it off” than say, me, going “You’re behaving in a way that is contributing to rape culture and is highly problematic and misogynistic.”

This isn’t to say men’s voices actually have more value than women’s. But in order to stop the cycle of violence men enact toward women, you have to stop the problem at the source — i.e. instead of telling women not to get raped, tell men not to rape. And when bros communicate that message to their bros? It carries a certain weight.

So, to my bros who don’t like sexual violence (which I assume is the vast majority of you), here’s what you can do. When you’re partying during Spring Break on the beach, and your bro has his eyes on the woman who is on the verge of black-out drunk? Tell him if they’re unconscious, it’s not consent. When you go out to a bar, and your bro gets upset that the woman he grinded with all evening doesn’t want to go home with him? Tell him she doesn’t owe him anything just because you danced. When your bro calls women derogatory names? Tell him you don’t want to hear that, because you have a girlfriend/mother/sister/friend/like to treat woman like human beings.

Tell your bros to act like men. And that the only requirement to being a man is to be a person who treats other people like people worthy of dignity and value.

  • Updated Mar. 13, 2013 at 10:25 pm
  • JasonPeters

    So let’s get this straight, the onus is on men who would never dream of raping to prevent rape, while the women who drink to unconsciousness are absolved of any responsibility for their own safety. Got it.

    • Nonny

      Even if you make a mistake, you in no way deserve to be the victim of sexual violence. We’re here to watch out for each other, not take advantage of each other at our most vulnerable moments. Don’t be a rapist apologist.

      • Brett Ludwig

        The jump from “absolved of any responsibility” to “deserve to be the victim” is not a small one. Don’t misrepresent.

      • JasonPeters

        Taking responsibility for one’s own safety is common sense — whether it be for rape or anything else — is scarcely rape apology. Telling someone to look their doors is not burglary apology. Do you realize how insane you look saying that? Perhaps if the members of your cult would stop parroting asinine mantras where they have no application, you wouldn’t be viewed as anti-intellectual, man-hating loons.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kris-Weaver/1000416614 Kris Weaver

        I don’t care. I am sick and tired of people shaming men into slavery while giving women a pass for everything from rape to murder.

        All garbage like this does is make decent human beings who are male not give a darn. If women want to hold men collectively responsible for the actions of an ultra minority of males, then I think it is high time men hold women to task collectively for the things individual women do!

  • EvilPundit

    False accusations of rape are a huge problem, and destroy the lives of innocent men.

    When women confront the culture of false accusations, then I might worry about what men are doing.

    • Calvin

      Because false accusations happen way more than actual rape?

      When you begin to confront a culture that disregards the victims of male violence, then we can take false accusations more seriously.

      • EvilPundit

        I didn’t say that – you did.

        I think men and women are equally capable of doing both good and bad things.

  • http://twitter.com/JamesFullman James Fullman

    Feminists like yourself, are the main creators of abuse and rape culture, because you work hard and deliberately to keep half the victims and half the perpetrators invisible with your gendering of the problem.

    • fiddleback

      “you work hard and deliberately to keep half the victims and half the perpetrators invisible”

      Factually false straw man plus paranoid conspiracy.

      Statistics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_the_United_States

      • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

        Wow. Great source fiddle – wiki.

        When did it become okay to use reported as factual?

        Reported means alleged, means possibly false.

        • fiddleback

          An entirely predictable dismissal, but it’s perfectly sufficient esp. for overview purposes. Sites plagued by partisan manipulation are noted as such, plus there are always the footnotes and references to research articles. So if you have any doubts about that page’s summary of rape and gender ratios, how about just taking a look and respond only with a cogent counter-source rather than with the same lazy, hackneyed, and unfair knock on Wikipedia?

          http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/SOO.PDF

  • http://twitter.com/JamesFullman James Fullman

    Here is and indication what the feminists are covering up and don’t want anyone to know.

    >Rates of sexually aggressive behaviors among women vary from one segment of the United States to another, but the evidence presented here shows that as many as 7% of women self-report the use of physical force to obtain sex, 40% self-report sexual coercion, and over 50% self-report initiating sexual contact with a man while his judgment was impaired by drugs or alcohol (Anderson, 1998). Given these numbers, it is appropriate to conclude that women’s sexual aggression now represents a usual or typical pattern (i.e., has become normal), within the limits of the data reviewed in this paper.

    ejhs.org/volume5/deviancetonormal.htm

    Feminists create and maintain rape culture.

  • Dawson

    I think the distinction here lies between responsibility and fault. The person (of either gender) who has been assaulted is not at fault, but they do need to be aware of the messages they send through how they act. There are actions people can take to reduce the risk of being targeted and choosing not to take those actions is irresponsible. Both genders have the responsibility to stop rape culture but while it is still around they must be educated on how to protect themselves from it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kris-Weaver/1000416614 Kris Weaver

      Rape Culture, A last ditch meme created by a movement one step form being labeled publicly as a hate movement. But I do concede America does indeed have a major rape culture problem.

      Americans love it when little boy’s or grown men are raped, they love it even more when teenage boy’s are falsely accused of rape. Heck a national past time is to joke about male rape.

      It is amusing to see how bigots like yourself are trying to re-brand what you say, but the past cannot be forgotten nor forgiven.

      • Dawson

        You are making quite a few assumptions about me there. I actually try to prevent people from making jokes and using the term rape loosely. I also believe that we need to focus less on the men vs women mentality and more on how we can prevent rape. So before you go around calling people bigots, make sure they are actually bigots.

  • ManWithPlan

    Imagine if an Islamophobe wrote an article like this on terrorism, substituting “man” for “Muslim.” Fair-minded people would justifiably be horrified. But apparently it’s ok when we’re talking about men.

    Both men and women are victims of rape. Both men and women commit rape. Rapists are violent criminals. Simply because more men than women commit rape, does not entitle anyone to put the responsibility on men to stop sexual violence.

    The responsibility is on everyone to stop sexual violence, and to fixate on one gender is not only bigoted, it helps female sex predators get away with abusing and raping men, women, and children. Plus, it marginalizes the victims of female sex predators.

    Putting the responsibility on everyone to take steps to stop sexual violence does not blame the victim, any more than a call to “stop murder” puts the blame on victims of this horrific crime.

    Egalitarian men and women around the world are beginning to notice a distinct stench wafting from feminist gender ideologues, and it does not smell like sugar and spice.

    Men and women can help each other protect and advance human rights. Happily, I believe more men and women are realizing this.

  • fiddleback

    These vehement comments are pretty amusing, not because sexual violence by females isn’t a serious issue, but because it’s as though the gentlemen posting can’t stand the idea that certain misogynistic fraternizing amongst men contributes to sexual assaults, or that such men’s complicity is worth addressing. Said gentlemen are presumably familiar with drunken gang rapes like this : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_Richmond_High_School_gang_rape

    What I find interesting is Gwynn’s repeated use of the word “bro,” implying that she is addressing a certain male demographic, not necessarily just fraternity men, but all those immersed in binge drinking and party culture, which is intertwined with rape culture. I wish she would identify this subculture more directly, as indeed most men do not engage in the sorts of moronic bacchanales that set the stage for many of these assaults.

    • ManWithPlan

      So if a man gets raped, it’s his fault because he’s a “bro” or somehow connected to bro culture. Got it. And why isn’t this victim blaming?

      • fiddleback

        Are you familiar with straw man arguments? I’m guessing not, because yours is an utterly textbook example and frankly unworthy of reply.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man

        • ManWithPlan

          Your words: “These vehement comments are pretty amusing, not because sexual violence by females isn’t a serious issue, but because it’s as though the gentlemen posting can’t stand the idea that certain misogynistic fraternizing amongst men contributes to sexual assaults, or that such men’s complicity is worth addressing.”

          You are directly connecting certain male fraternizing behavior with sexual assaults.

          Put another way: If a woman attends a rowdy frat party, and is tragically raped, is she complicit in her rape due to fraternization with certain men? If so, this is victim blaming. If not, then why are male victims complicit in sexual assault and not women?

          • fiddleback

            I’m talking about fraternization between the eventual perpetrator(s) and those who voice similar/supportive objectification of the eventual victim(s). It doesn’t absolve the victims, whether male or female, from their roles or irresponsibility, but it keeps primary fault with the perpetrator(s) and any enablers. This article is really about the enabling parties, not the victims. And men more often act as enablers for other men than woman do. Have you ever heard of a pack of women gang raping a a man??

          • ManWithPlan

            Yes, packs of women are noted to gang-rape men and women in many different countries around the world. For example, a not-insignificant number of people who commit sexual violence in African ethnic conflicts are female, and they inflict violence on both male and female victims.

            But I still don’t know why it’s ok to say that people who get raped at rowdy parties bear responsibility for complicity.

            Surely people who choose to attend these parties know that a bunch of rowdy, inebriated, possibly sexist folks are having a hoot and a holler there. So if they attend, and are tragically raped, do they bear partial responsibility or no?

          • fiddleback

            Humor me — let’s see some links regarding these purported gang rapes by women.

            “But I still don’t know why it’s ok to say that people who get raped at rowdy parties bear responsibility for complicity.”

            Good grief– I never said the victims are complicit. I stated the obvious that irresponsible behavior on their parts (like passing out from intoxication) can put them in those very vulnerable situations. “Complicity” is a word I would apply to enabling parties. On the milder end, it’s those who would echo objectifying or lecherous sentiments with a person about to commit rape. On the worse end it’s people who know that the rape is likely to happen and look the other way. If they foresee it for sure, then they are accomplices.

          • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox
          • fiddleback

            That article is about Rwandan women imitating genocidal behavior generally associated with men– If there was even reference to female gang rape, please point it out. I call B.S. on “ManwithPlan”‘s assertion that female gang rape is a remotely comparable phenomenon in scale to male gang rape. Come on, your anecdotal example is Rwanda, a veritable hell hole…

          • James Doyle

            Well now that’s an interesting dodge. You ask for examples, soemone gives you one, and you dismiss it because it’s too obvious.

          • fiddleback

            The few references to rape were not about female gang rape. So no, it wasn’t an example.

          • James Doyle


            Humor me — let’s see some links regarding these purported gang rapes by women.”
            Translation: Please do my homework for me because I’m tooo lazy to stay current with the news.
            http://www.myzimbabwe.co.zw/news/1156-women-rape-men-in-zimbabwe-at-gun-point-then-sell-their-sperms-in-nigeria-and-ghana-for-us14000-per-condom.html

          • fiddleback

            A bizarre report about African prostitutes selling sperm on the black market–I do read the news but yeah, that’s the kind of story that might slip by me. I’m so glad you’re out there, taking note of such third world obscurities and holding them aloft as if they are meaningful in terms of rape statistics. I repeat: it’s a specious absurdity to suggest that female gang rape is remotely comparable in occurrence to male gang rape. Moreover, you do yourself and your fellow MRA’s a disservice by trying to constantly, idiotically argue the statistical exceptions to the rule. There are no doubt some legitimate grievances within the MRA agenda, but you could not be doing a better job of obscuring them with this B.S.

          • http://www.facebook.com/bledi.lalollari Bledi Lalollari

            How about how the United States does not consider forced envelopment of a man by a person (whether man or woman) to be rape? If a woman coerces you into sex with her, do you know the government doesnt consider taht rape and is therefore not covered in rape statistics and hence why most rape victims appear to be female? The CDC did a study in 2011 i think and the 2010 numbers are quite shocking. The number of women raped? 1.27 million in 2010. The number of men raped (or forced to penetrate as the CDC called it)? 1.267 million for 2010. Those numbers are roughly even, wouldnt you agree? Sure, we can even go so far as to say the majority of women (in this case being 51% or so) are raped, but the numbers are so close as to be within a error difference, that we can safely call it even. Oddly enough though, the lifetime numbers show that about 18% of women have been raped, but only about 6% or so of men report being raped. If you want to look it up, just google CDC NISVS 2010. I think the numbers were on page 18 of the PDF. So then you can stop with your whole argument of “men are the vast majority of rape perpetrators.”

        • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

          Wiki is not a reliable source and is open to rampant manipulation.

          • fiddleback

            It’s perfectly sufficient for overview purposes. Sites plagued by partisan manipulation are noted as such, plus there all always the footnotes and references to research articles that are plenty reliable. It takes a few seconds to verify that what’s in the wiki page is legitimate.

        • James Doyle

          fiddleback, can you do us all a fovr and please stop lying with the “stawman” BS? Simple request. Thanks.

          • fiddleback

            Sure, I can go with scarecrow– if in return, you could increase your reading comprehension and track down a basic grasp of statistical proportions, that would be swell. Very simple request. Thanks.

    • JasonPeters

      The “bro” sounds like she’s targeting men from the inner city.

  • James Doyle

    So apparently women never rape? Or if they do, that’s somehow “different” and we hear a bunch of denialist rape apology, that it’s not the same because of soem kind of power diffenretial, even when he’s drunk ans she’s sober; how it’s not as serious because men don’t expereince rape as the same degree of harm women do – all a bunch of dehumanizing denialist rape apology.

    Gwynn, this is how uniformed you are on this point:

    “We question the victim’s motives, and seek to find a flaw within the victim instead of looking at the source of the problem in the first place. The perpetrator.”

    Tell this ot male rape victims. No actually, you won’t be telling them anything, because this is what they experince froom police and everyone else, unless they get blank denial that a arpe could even have happend.

    When is the last time a woman had her womanhood questioned becuase she got raped, when was the last time she was called gay because she didn’t want sex?

    When you ignore female rapists as perpetrators you ally oyurself with exactly this narrative.

    It is offensive and unacceptable.

    Educate yourself:
    http://jameslandrith.com/component/option,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/limit,5/limitstart,5/

    • fiddleback

      “So apparently women never rape?”

      Another straw man.

      • James Doyle

        “these enactors of sexual violence against women are overwhelmingly men.”
        Strawman?
        No mention of women raping men – drunk men, sleeping men – no mention ata ll. Doesn’t exist for her.
        Strawman?

        • fiddleback

          You seem to be having trouble with a key word definition. “Overwhelming” does not mean all. It means very heavy majority, as in 90+%, an entirely fair word to describe how approx. 99% of *perpetrators* are male. And yet “overwhelming” still implies that female rapists exist. But your mind somehow muddled that obvious meaning, perhaps due to inchoate rage that she didn’t offer token acknowledgement of the 10% of rape *victims* who are male. You demand the latter so vehemently that you accuse her of something that her own word choice easily disproves. I won’t say the phrase, because straw really is too nice a substance to describe how dumb this all is.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2417893 Alan Beem

            Might as well just say the actual percentages, and the words “men” and “women”.

  • Will

    “there’s even an increasing trend in newsprint to call the victim in a case of rape, not the victim, but the accuser.”

    That’s because they ARE the accuser, or do we no longer believe that people are innocent until proven guilty?

  • http://www.facebook.com/kreese.baldwin Kreese Baldwin

    STanding up to stupid slut: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5OdQGbVNa4

  • Elizabeth

    It’s so great to hear this in more mainstream journalism, outside of women and feminist-oriented sites. Gives me a little hope for having a rational conversation about rape someday.

    • JasonPeters

      Um, Elizabeth, no one is treating this article as maintsream journalism. It parrots Womyn’s Studies mantras that mainstream America finds laughable and insulting.

      • Elizabeth

        Don’t talk down to me. If simply suggesting we re-examine the treatment of rape victims is womyn’s studies

        • Elizabeth

          then we have a long way to go.

  • ZimbaZumba

    The whole manner in which you have framed and expressed this issue is hate filled. You last statement asks that a man should be:-

    “a person who treats other people like people worthy of dignity and value.”

    Perhaps we could ask the same of you.

  • cloudiah

    I am sorry to report that your comment section has become infested with MRAs. Do not confuse MRAs with MRSA. One is difficult to get rid of, attacks the weak, and causes pus-filled boils.

    The other is a bacterium.

    • Nonny

      biology burns *high five*

    • JasonPeters

      Do not confuse radical feminists with human beings.

    • fiddleback

      Some MRA forum probably posted a link. Explains the avalanche of tangential-at-best screeds posted in the first few hours with dozens of supporting votes…

      • Calvin

        I was glad to see you return.

      • James Doyle

        Guess what. You’re not in some safe little nurseery school setting anymore. People notice you. We pay attention to what you say. KU is not some insignificant little place in the middle of nowhere. Deal with it.

        • fiddleback

          Yes, you pay attention. Then your ilk descends with an onslaught of pathetic aggrieved nonsense as an ongoing reminder to the world that you’re not smart enough to separate wheat from chaff in your own agenda and come up with a reasonable way of promoting yourselves. Thus “MRA” is synonymous with pathetic trolls.

    • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

      Way to go cloudiah! Weren’t you just condemning dehumanization?? Yet here you have done it yourself?

    • http://twitter.com/Cyridius SESayed

      Implying the author is weak? I’m sure she was fully aware of what she was writing and does not need white-knight defense. Maybe she should adjust her views to not be so sexist(Or phrased in an extremely seixst manner) in future and she wont have Men’s Rights Activists swarming her articles.

  • Nonny

    It’s pretty sad that so many of these comments are from guys that are more offended by being asked to stick up for women than they are by the actual rape itself.

    Seriously though, there are two things you could have done after reading this.
    1. Thought to yourself, “you know, I don’t like rape or sexual violence against women or men. I’m going to take a stand against it and urge my friends to do the same.”
    OR
    2. Thought to yourself, “oh my gawd this is a personal attack on me pshhh I don’t wanna help stupid girls that get drunk not all men are like this…” or some other variation of thinly veiled sexism.

    You seriously chose the second option…?

    • Elizabeth

      Right on.

    • JasonPeters

      Oh, boo hoo, get out the violins. Poor Nonny is having a feminist conniption!

      Since you seem to be purposefully obtuse, how about this: innocent women don’t being blamed for something they didn’t do, and innocent men don’t like it either. How about that, Nonny? Get it? Can we say it any more clearly?

      That’s not suggesting that we should stand back and watch if someone is being hurt, it’s to scratch our heads and wonder why this awful writer Gwynn thinks innocent men alone should be responsible for something that happens to innocent women.

      • Elizabeth

        Because innocent men may know not-so-innocent men.

        • James Doyle

          There you go, Elizabeth – let your bigotry all hang out so we can all see it.

      • Nonny

        She says innocent men should help their friends. Not get blamed. Please get it right, I don’t have time to regurgitate the entire article for you.

        Also the fact that you’re trying to put me down by saying I’m “purposefully obtuse” and having a “feminist conniption” is a little indicative that you might have some sexist violence built up in your system.

        • cloudiah

          Well below he manages to dehumanize “radical feminists” which is a good first step to violence. 0_0

          • Nonny

            True dat. :(

          • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

            Bwahahahahah – pseudo clap trap!

            Yet, when feminists dehumanise men they are fighting the good fight hey?

            The hypocrisy is disgusting.

        • James Doyle

          “She says innocent men should help their friends.”
          False. She says “men” – in general, without qualifying it or narrowing it down.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2417893 Alan Beem

          I’m sorry, but how does “feminist conniption” indicate JasonPeters is potentially violent (literally, physically dangerous to be around)? That really seems like bullying to jump to that conclusion.

    • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

      None of my friends rape or ever will. We all have good character and if any of them did we would see him sent to jail.

      We don’t need the likes of you to tell us how to be men – we don’t tell you how to be a woman.

    • ZimbaZumba

      Do you urge your friends not murder or shoplift. What would your reaction be if they did so to you.

    • James Doyle

      “from guys that are more offended by being asked to stick up for women…”
      Because that’s our job in life. God forbid women ever have to do anything about theier own safety.
      Nonny, your drivel is what’s called the “Real Man” narrative – a woman presuming to tell a man how to be a man. It’s unacceptable and offensive sexism – you don’t have the right and being a woman does not give you the right to lecture us on what you think we owe you..

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2417893 Alan Beem

        Right on, brother!

  • mutant_reg_act

    So, preventing harm to women requires employing scumbag stereotypes against “bros”- you mean – men. Cool. Well, since I don’t know any men who embody the scumbag stereotypes employed in this article, we can go ahead and label the writer a bigot.

    • Elizabeth

      Not sure if sarcastic….

    • Calvin

      Not personally having experience of something means it doesn’t exist?

      Cool. I have no personal experience with someone from Romania–that means Romanians don’t actually exist. Awesome new metaphysical theory, bro!

      I can’t possibly have personal experience of pregnancy. That means it doesn’t really exist!

  • mutant_reg_act

    “dude” and “bro”: safe hate-speech for feminists. Just a little less obvious than using the word “boy”.

    • Elizabeth

      definitely not sarcastic, then.

    • Calvin

      “Dude” and “Bro” became hate speech? I think it was a tad problematic, but a previous commenter already pointed this out.

      The article should have just been specific that it was targeting a certain male demographic that is historically known to be binge-drinking, victim blaming misogynists.

      • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

        Actually, using dude and bro is pretty patronizing. I thought femme’s were against that?

      • http://twitter.com/Cyridius SESayed

        Why don’t I just call every woman “Girl” and “Hoe” while I’m at it?

  • NWOslave

    WOMEN NEED TO CONFRONT FALSE ACCUSATIONS
    We question the victim’s motives, and seek to find a flaw within the victim instead of looking at the source of the problem in the first place. The perpetrator. The false accuser. The liar. The one who enacted the false complaint.

    And, as the statistics tell us, these enactors of false allegations against men are overwhelmingly women.

    Now, please don’t think I’m proclaiming “All women are false accusers!” That would assume that women have some biological predisposition to be manipulative, untrustworthy, deceptive creatures, which is obviously messed up. That’s kind of the point of my article today. Women are in no way inherently lying-machines, and this type of thinking, that false accusations and sexual manipulation is an unquestionable reality in our society that will never go away is an insult to women.

    Women can totally not falsely accuse. Tons of women never falsely accuse. I know quite of few of them, and I can testify that it is completely possible for a grrrl to go through the entirety of her life without ever committing false accusations against another person. But we do have to acknowledge that we live in a culture that encourages false accusation towards men, and that it is nurture, not nature, that makes a false accuser. Which is why — grrrls, you got to call out your grrrls before they commit false accusations against another person.
    ————-
    How does this piece read now that I’ve re-gendered and re-crimed it?

    • Elizabeth

      Not too bad, actually. Friends discourage friends from things that are morally contemptible, right? We can also plug in “double parking” and “making explosives in a van”.
      But that’s not what you’re looking for.

      • Elizabeth
      • cloudiah

        NWOSlave is a notorious anti-feminist misogynist who thinks a pre-teen in capri pants is flaunting her sexuality at him. He’s also frothingly homophobic, and an open anti-semite. He claims to work huge amounts of forced overtime repairing machines, yet somehow has countless hours to spend commenting on any story that mentions feminism.

        • Elizabeth

          Interesting

  • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

    Sorry lady. You are a fool.

    BTW, the onus is on women to prevent infanticide. Not all women commit infanticide, and most chicks do through life without committing infanticide.

    • Calvin

      This article doesn’t say the onus is on men. It says that one possible route men can take to help prevent violence is to be more proactive in their engagements with other men. If you have a friend using language to dehumanize a historically disenfranchised group, you can let him know that is a problem and only contributes to furthering a stereotype. This particular stereotype is that “the onus is on women to stop from being raped.”

      Also, I see you are probably pro-life. So what does it say that you’re so for life that you don’t believe this particular route of combating harm on another’s life is good? Doesn’t seem very pro-life if you don’t advocate all methods to further one’s life and enrichment. “Women can’t have abortions, but men shouldn’t help to stop other men from inflicting sexual assault on those women either! Women can’t harm other people, but it’s perfectly okay for women to be harmed!”

      • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

        I’m pro choice. But also, I don’t deal with white knights because they are pathetic.

  • Headdesks

    You can start telling people that rape is bad when they are older, But you need to have that conversation at home with your young child (both sexes) that rape is wrong. If they cannot or do not agree to consensual sex then you do not have sex.

    • Calvin

      Very true. Starting young with both sexes can help lay the ground for positive change in the future.

  • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

    http://www.yourjewishnews.com/2013/02/w6734.html

    19 year old girl arrested for having “Love affair” with boy???

    Sorry girls, that’s rape and child molestation. Funny because the perpetrator is a women, they use fluffy words.

    • Calvin

      No where in this article does the author express the view that violence is solely a women’s issue. It is only speaking on the subject that when speaking about violence against women, men are statistically the majority group that commits the violence.

      The exception is not the rule. You should be ashamed to dig up two random examples to disprove a point that the author doesn’t even advocate. Bored, huh?

      • http://www.facebook.com/osiris.fox Osiris Fox

        Why should I feel ashamed? Also, I didn’t dig those up funny how I just randomly found those articles without searching. That suggests, it’s more common than woman care to admit.

        I abhor violence of any kind – I just don’t believe in singling out any part of the population. If I’m not violent, I refuse to be classified even in general, as violent.

        Feminists seems to ignore or forget that all these violent Men had mothers… perhaps that is where the failure lies. Having a useless mother, who fucked around at will because of “liberation”, and thus he had no father figure in his life to teach him respect. As a result, he grew to disrespect women.

        Strange how all this violence in society has increased since the family unit was destroyed, and the father replaced by the state.

        I am not righty, and I am no lefty either. BOTH are wrong and their continued resistance to work together fosters increasingly extremists views on both sides.

        • Calvin

          That doesn’t suggest it’s more common. I’m sure you’re well adapt enough to find sexual assault stats that prove your point minute. Let’s move past that.

          This article doesn’t single men out. It is simply stating that there is a certain portion of violence that is male on female sexual violence. It isn’t saying the only sexual violence is male on female. Since it’s advice is specifically targeting male on female violence, it is based upon male perpetrators. Again, I repeat, no where in here does it claim that all men are rapists, or even that all sexual violence is solely perpetrated by men. I think your statement is in agreement with what the author believes as well. I don’t know why you’re assuming the author is making a general statement when it is specifically targeting one of many demographics that cause violence.

          Do you not see an irony is blaming the assaulter s mother? Though I believe you’re close, it isn’t typically, at least I don’t believe, that rapists are the cause of poor parenting. That’s too simple of an answer. There are many environmental factors out of a mother’s control–and one of them is their son’s friends. Hence why the article is asking those friends to be constructive.

          Your comment about the father being replaced by the state. I have no time to discuss that–but I can assure that the violence hasn’t increased. It has only become more publicized. Do you know the saying “rule of thumb?” It was English Common law stating that you could legally beat your wife with a stitch that was ‘no thicker than one’s thumb.’ Violence against women used to be so normal there were no laws against it–and in some cases there aren’t laws against marital violence and sexual assault.

      • James Doyle

        Random? So that emnas they don’t really exist, they are som anomalous theat we should just ignore them politely?

  • tlcerny

    I think the fact that this article has sparked so much aggressive debate shows how important an issue this actually is. Yes, women (and men!) need to be smart about their safety, but is everyone always perfect? All this article is simply saying is that it’s pretty messed up that we live in a culture where no one worries if a guy gets too carried away with his alcohol, or ends up walking home alone. Yet when a woman does, and something happens, the first reaction out of almost every mouth is “Well, she shouldn’t have been by herself” or “Well, she shouldn’t have had so much to drink”. Yes, you’re right, maybe she shouldn’t have, but should we really worry about the shoulds and shouldn’ts when she’s not the one who committed a crime?! Let’s not make this into a game of pointing fingers at who is in the wrong, and what ifs. This is about rape as a perpetuated problem, not by sexy women, or stupid women, or women in any stage of a bad decision. This is a perpetuated problem by our social inability to see past gender ideologies.

  • MichaelSteane

    Women wanted equality. They can look out for themselves now, same as men have always had to do.

  • Allison Morte

    Why is there such a backlash against someone suggesting that men educate each other about sexual violence and stick up for women when they may be vulnerable? It’s so surprising to me that so many people would take offense to this..

    • fiddleback

      Look up “MRA” — the acronym could stand for “Misogynistic Rape Apologist” or I’ve suggested “Mewling Rumpelstiltskin Association,” but the official title is Mens’ Rights Activists/Activism. The last part is despite their lack of any meaningful activism– as they’ve illustrated, their main thing is sounding the troll clarion and descending like an army of Orcs to decry invented feminist boogie men. Freud would have had a field day with these buffoons, but then they’re mostly too obtuse to have any sense of shame.